Things that I hate #8: Lazy Beggars

There may be nothing in this world that I both hate and resent more than street beggars who beg for money simply because they’re lazy. If you have both of your legs and both of your arms, then get off of your ass and get a job. True, in many 3rd world and developing countries, said job is highly unlikely to make you rich, but it is a job nonetheless and will provide you with the means to at least (A) feed yourself and (B) stop annoying me. That job may end up to be simply selling cigarettes street-vendor style as so many people in Southeast Asia do or working as a laborer in a rice paddy field -- but it is still a job.

For instance, in the Ermita district of Manila, Philippines where I am presently located at the moment, there are LOADS of street beggars, nearly all of whom are completely healthy and are capable of working as simple laborers or street vendors. For a reason which completely eludes me, they choose to sit around day after day, begging for money. I see no other reason for this apart from sheer and outright laziness. “Sir, please help me. I’m hungry.” Fine. I’ll help you with some free advice. Wash up a bit, comb your hair and then get your ass to work.

There are plenty of people in the Philippines (and indeed, many other countries) who make roughly the equivalent of several dollars a day. Many of these people cannot even read or write, but they work in any capacity that they are capable of and support themselves and their families. I see great honor and pride in these people supporting themselves. That being said, there is no honor or pride whatsoever in people begging on the streets for money when those people are healthy and capable of an honest day’s work. If you have both of your legs and both of your arms, then support your damned self!

Oh, and before I forget: if you are a street beggar with full limb functionality and are thinking of using the “look, I have a child here with me” angle, then you are the worst of a bad lot. You don’t work, have no place to stay, beg for money, and then you pop out a child or three? Even worse, you then train your children to run up and down the street begging for money so you can sit back and rake in their profits?? If that is your case, then I pray that a meteor falls from the sky and turns you into a foul-smelling smear on the pavement.

There is a simple formula that I use to determine whether or not I will donate a bit of money to street beggars. Feel free to use it anytime you wish:

As the number of healthy, functional limbs on a street beggar (L) increases, the percentage probability of me donating money to them (M) decreases.

Based on this simple formula, we can easily and accurately calculate the table below:



Example A:



Example B:



As a pre-emptive measure, I’m going to supply in this blog posting all of my responses to the whining comments that many will, no doubt, be sending to me:

Whine #1: You’re an ass! Don’t you know that in many 3rd world countries there are little to no social assistance programs to help homeless and poor people?

Retort #1: Of course I do – I live in a 3rd world country, and a fantastic way to make sure that social assistance programs for the homeless and poor are never founded by that respective 3rd world country government is for people to keep giving money to beggars, thereby negating the need for social assistance programs. Don’t do the government’s job for them, you flaming, moronic simpletons!

Whine #2: Hey, you mentioned people who are physically disabled but you failed to mention people with mental disabilities! What about the man down on the street corner arguing with the wall?

Retort #2: You can fake crazy, but you can’t fake a stump where your leg used to be. Duh!

Whine #3: What about people who are poor because their governments are corrupt and treated them unfairly, forcing them into poverty? Is that their fault?

Retort #3: No, and it isn’t my fault either. Fair play must be demanded and fought for by the citizens and victims of corrupt regimes. For a real-life reference of what happens when another country, military or other foreign power uses might to “force democracy and promote freedom”, please see present-day Iraq.

I will address any other gripes by appointment only. Until next time, cheers!